Because a lot had happened in the past one month. It took me some time to really sit down and think about the past events... not that I have plenty of time to spare. Life is a bitch, or rather people can be bitches. (I'm fine if you are a bitch and you show it. Those who lie about their real selves aren't even bitches, they are just sad human beings.) To even think about it makes me fume. Anyway, to cut things short: THE GOOD THINGS 1) My dad finally got me my MacBook Pro! :D 2) I got my hair cut. It's fairly short now. THE BAD THINGS 1) I have an exam this Saturday, and I barely studied. Well, more like nothing can get into my head. 2) W**K. I shall be very very honest. My HR dept can read this and fire me if they want, because I have lost all respect for a company who upholds 'integrity', and yet, time and time again shows the best example of upholding backstabbing and scheming individuals. Integrity? I don't see a speck of it anywhere. It hurts when the one betraying is someone from the same department. The one who everyone loves and thinks she's the best friend to have. And the one who went round getting everyone to sympathize with her, and then go against her other dept mates. The one who has bought over everyone and thus, creating all these hate and distrust towards her dept mates. The worst thing? No one tried to listen to the other side of the story. Everyone preferred her story. The one filled with lies and hidden agendas. This whole incident has left me a very important life lesson, and one that I'll never forget. One of betrayal and distrust. But at least I've learned something. Dear Mint, Yes, I would even put your name down because there is no need to hide. I am disgusted how you can treat us in this manner after all the time we have worked together. Sure, we are not the best of friends, but you never treat us like one when we tried so hard to open up to you. And in return for our friendliness, you greeted us with hostility. The mere sight of you makes my hands tremble because I know what you are capable of. The underhand methods that have bought everyone over to your side. You scare me with your inhumane ways. How you can pretend everything isn't your fault when it is. How you can make someone else the scape goat and you the star. How you can twist your words and make the angel become the devil. Beside you, Lucifer looks tame. (Yes, this is harsh, but you have used the sin 'envy' for your criminal doings.) I am glad I was never your friend. Imagine the hurt if you were. But God Bless You and hope He can forgive your doings. You'll need it. Devon A lot may have happened. But I'm glad this also brought along closer bonds with the real friends I already have. Life is ironic - it comes with strange parcels. devon

   A week of intensive lectures have finally come to an end. It's strange how studying for a part-time degree was in the plan, and yet I'm going through it now. Maybe its because certain things were instilled in me since young - go through the express stream with distinctions, get into college, and followed by a degree in either NUS or NTU. Well.... I never went down that route.

   But that's life with its vast possibilities. Like how I detest A Math and now I'm back studying it again. And I finally realised why we need it. Hello kids, we need logarithms and differentiation in business. (Why the fuck am I studying business then. I was a F9 student in Math ALL THE TIME.) It's time to revisit the old buddy I never liked in the first place. Nice meeting you again, A Math.

   That's all for now, I can barely keep my eyes open.


devon

Dear GLAY,

I'm grateful to have known you and your music - which is a joy and often a delirious ecstacy. (Likewise, Mrs. JIRO aka my sister would feel the same way.) We don't exactly know all the lyrics to all your songs, don't really have the full discography yet, can't read your interviews in magazines (being illiterate in Japanese) or even GONE FOR YOUR CONCERT!!

We try all means to at least be part of the GLAY family - like making sure we only get your CDs and not download them illegally, or making time to watch your DVDs and jump around as though we were chipmunks on excessive sugar. WE EVEN SET ASIDE MONEY SO WE CAN BE A HAPPY SWINGER EVERY YEAR!!!

It is not that we hate you coming up with new singles or merchandise. But please try to understand that not all your fans have a wallet full of cash. We don't live in the Hamptons and we don't rush off to a luxurious holiday in some exotic beach in our private jets. And taking in the fact that the Japanese currency is being a bitch, shipping costs are a pain in the ass.

Honestly, sometimes I don't whether to scream in pure euphoria or ballastic agony when I saw the new collection of goods for THE GREAT VACATION and HOTEL GLAY. Maybe you would say, "It's okay, you don't have to own everything. We are happy that you love our music." That's fine, because I don't really buy ALL YOUR MERCHANIDSE. (I think I want to be GLAY's marketing agent, it's so good to squeeze the lives out of their fans - like me for one.)

Mrs. JIRO and I are quite selective in what we want from each Goods collection. For me, I always get the pamphlet because pictures of you four are perfect memories. Mrs. JIRO gets her little accessories to be as close to her husband as possible. We wear GLAY T-shirts, drink from GLAY cups, know the date from GLAY calendars, have GLAY bling strapped to our mobile phones, and even bought a special frame to hold up all your posters. (I think we seem a little too excessive now.... hehe....)

We love you, GLAY, but please try not to throw us with new merchandise all the time. I know its your 15th anniversary... seriously, is it necessary to come up with HOTEL GLAY AND HAVE THOSE AMAZING CUTE MUST-HAVE EYE MASKS???? So cute! *Sigh* At this rate, we would never see you in Japan because each time we try to save, you manage to squander it away. (Yeah, now there's Vol. 2 for the GREAT VACATION BEST CD. Didn't Vol. 1 just came out just last month?)

Don't worry, this won't stop us from being your fans. It just makes us go a slightly mental, that's all. Now, let me tie myself up so I will stop looking at your website.

P.S.: Marketing Agent of GLAY, you are one smart ass. I don't know whether to love or hate you. But can I have your job?

Love,
Devon

   And then I realised, I have nothing to blog about at all.

 

   I need to settle my priorities in life.

 

 

 

 

   Peace always comes after a storm.

 

 

   And let's just hope it goes away soon... without much casualties.

Dear God,

   I'm tired. I know I shouldn't be. How can I be tired of praying to you, or seeking you ever so much? But yes, I'm tired. I'm so close to begging you to stop giving me obstacles to test my love for you because I can't do that for so many years.

   Wait, was that another test again? I know I don't read the bible, go to church or even praise you everytime I get a seat in the bus (because every Christian I know does that). Does that means I'm not worthy to be loved by you?

   If I were to look at this as a relationship (and I do), I'm probably not giving enough, which explains why I'm not getting any either. I think you know how tumultuous this whole I-love-God-and-Jesus-yes-I-Do thing has been since forever. I've doubted you and now I don't. And I can't stop thinking that its my punishment I'm going through now for doubting you before.

   (I can hear Christians telling me all the things-I-would-say-because-I'm-Christian in the background. Not to offend anyone, but I really hate it when people start preaching. IT PUTS ME OFF.)

   But isn't it time my punishment has stopped? All I need is your help. I have one simple wish - to get into NUS. Not because I really love the school, but because I want to make my parents happy, to loosen their burden, to make them proud. (NUS might kill me for this reason though.) Yeah sure, application is over and there's no way I can appeal again... Must I sing Prince of Egypt's I Believe for a plea???

   My mom keeps telling me what you would do so that other people who don't believe in G-O-D would come to Christ (stuff like turning lights off, and getting random people to help you). Being really selfish now, how come I don't get obvious signs like those? WHAT IS A SIGN?

   Making my parents happy means a lot to me... Maybe I'm fucking things up by even writing this letter. You'd probably know what's running through my head, but I don't. There are too much noise in there, I can't seem to write a proper letter to you.

   Let me summarise then: I really need to talk to you and when I do, please... give me a sign that you are listening. Like a hummingbird entering my room, or a Prada bag appearing at my door, or GLAY living next door.... anything but obvious and signaturely You... And well, I'm hoping for a miracle. That NUS found out they made a mistake sending me a rejection letter and sends me a correct one by next week.

   I don't know how to pray correctly, and I have no idea even if there is one. But I believe speaking to you is best. Because I don't have to be poetic.

   Thank you, God for listening to me... I really appreciate it....


Love always,
devon